I was an Atheist I died and went back to the morgue

I was an atheist and cursed God a lot and terribly. I lived in shame and fornication and was dead to the earth. But the merciful God did not let me perish but led me to repentance.

 

In 1961 I fell ill with cancer and was ill for three years. I did not lie down, but worked and treated doctors, hoping to find a cure. In the last six months, I had become completely emaciated, so much so that I could not even drink water. As soon as I drank it, I immediately threw up. Then they took me to the hospital and because I was very energetic they called a professor from Moscow and decided to operate on me.

 

As soon as they opened my abdomen, I died immediately. My soul came out of the body and was standing between two doctors and I was looking at my illness with great fear and terror. My entire stomach and intestines were cancerous. I was standing there thinking why are there two of us? I had no idea there was a soul. The communists were inflating us and teaching us that the soul and God do not exist, that this is only an invention of the priests to deceive the people and keep them in fear of something that does not exist.

 

I see myself standing and I see him again in the operating room. They took out all my innards and were looking for the duodenum. But there was only pus, everything was damaged and spoiled, and nothing was healthy. The doctors then said: "She has nothing to live with". I saw everything with great fear and terror and again thought: “How and where are we two? Am I standing and lying down at the same time? "The doctors then returned my entrails as-as they said my body should be given to the young medical specialists for teaching and they took it to the mortuary and I went to them and was more and more puzzled and thought how and where we are two. There they left me lying naked, covered up to chest height with a sheet. After that, I see that my brother came and brought my little son. He was six years old and his name was Andruska (Andrei). My son approached my body and kissed his head. He began to cry and say: "Mother, mother, why did you die? I am still young, how can I live without you? I have no father and you are dead! I then hugged him and kissed him, but he did not feel it either. he did not see it nor notice me but was looking at my dead body.

 

I also saw how my brother chose. After that, I suddenly found myself at home. My mother-in-law from my first marriage came, and my mother and my sister. I left my first husband because he believed in God. Then the distribution of my things began. I lived richly and luxuriously, and all this I obtained by injustice and by fornication. My sister began to remove the nicest of my things, while the mother-in-law asked to leave something for my son. My sister did not leave anything, but in addition, she began to scold the mother-in-law saying: "This child is not your son's and you are nothing to him." After that, they went out and closed the house. My sister also took a big bag of things with her. While they were arguing about my things I saw devils dancing and rejoicing around us.       

 

Suddenly I found myself in the air and I see as if I am flying in a plane. I feel that someone is holding me and that I am rising higher and higher. I found myself above the city of Barnaul. Then I see that the city is gone. It got dark. After that light began to come again and at last it became completely illuminated and the light was so strong that I could not look at it. They placed me on a six-foot black slab. I saw trees with very thick trunks and beautiful variegated foliage. Among the trees, there were houses, all new, but I did not see who lived in them. In this valley, I saw rich green grass and I thought: where am I now? If I am on earth then why are there no businesses, factories, or other buildings here, why are there no roads or transport? What is this place without people and who lives here anyway? A little further on I saw walking a fine tall woman in regal gowns beneath which her toes were visible. He walked so lightly that not even the grass was bent by his feet. Next to her was a young man who was as tall as her shoulders. He had his face hidden with his hands, and for something he was crying very bitterly and begging, but for what reason I could not hear. I thought that he is her son and protested to myself why she does not feel sorry for him and fulfilled his request. He cried and mourned and she did not fulfill his request. (Note: From everything it seems that this young man was a guardian angel of this dead woman. It also shows how the holy angels care about us and our souls, but we do not see it. Furthermore, it seems that even their request is unfulfilled, if death finds us sinners and unrepentant). When they came near me, the young man fell at her feet and began to beg her more loudly and to wail and ask her for something. She answered him something, but I couldn't make out what. (Note: I had the opportunity from other sources to know how and how bitterly the guardian angel weeps when the one given to him for protection does not obey the holy Church and the holy faith, losing his soul forever). When they approached me I wanted to ask her: "Where am I? " At that moment this woman crossed her arms on her chest, raised her eyes to heaven, and said: "Lord, where will she go like this?" I then trembled and only now understood that I had died, that my soul was in heaven and the body remained on earth. Then I began to weep and wail, and I heard a voice saying: "Return her to the earth for the good deeds of her father." Another voice replied: "I'm tired of her sinful and corrupt life. I wanted to wipe her off the face of the earth without repentance, but her father begged me for her. Show her the place she deserved."

 

Immediately I found myself in Hades. Then terrible glowing snakes with long tongues spewing fire and other disgusting filth began to creep up on me. The stench was unbearable. These snakes coiled themselves around me, and at the same time from somewhere appeared worms as thick as the finger with tails ending in needles and hooks. These were getting into all my open parts, ears, eyes, nose, etc. and so they tortured me and I screamed no with my voice. But there was no help from anywhere, no mercy from anyone. There I saw how the woman who died from an abortion presented herself and began to beg the Lord for mercy. HE answered her: "You on earth did not recognize me, you killed the children in your womb and moreover you told people: you should not give birth to children, children are unnecessary". To me there are none, there are no unnecessary things. In me there is everything and enough for everyone.

 

To me, the Lord said: "I gave you the disease so that you would repent, but you cursed Me until the end of your life and did not recognize Me and for this reason, I do not recognize you either!" As you lived on earth without the Lord God, so you will live here !".

 

Suddenly everything changed and I flew somewhere. The stench disappeared, the loud howling also disappeared and I suddenly saw my church where I was playing. The gate opened and a priest dressed in white came out. He was standing with his head bowed and a voice asked me: "Who is he ?". I answered: "our priest." "You said he is a swindler, he is not a swindler, but a real shepherd, he is not a mercenary.

 

He knew that even though he is a small, ordinary priest, he serves Me, know even this: if he does not read you the wish of confession, I will not forgive you"! Then I began to plead: "Lord, bring me back to earth, I have a little son." The Lord said: "I know you have a little son, it is a pity for him". "Too bad," I replied. Then He answered: "I pity you all and three times I pity you. I expect you all, when will you wake up from the sinful dream, repent and come to your senses ?'.

 

Here now appeared again the Mother of God, whom earlier I had called a woman, and I took the courage to ask her: "Is there a heaven here for you? " . Instead of an answer after those words, I found myself back in hell in Hades. Now it was worse than last time. Demons ran around me with lists and pointed out my sins and shouted: "you served us when you were on earth"! I began to read my sins, all my deeds written in large letters, and I felt terrible fear. Fire came out of their mouths. The demons were beating on my head. Glowing sparks of fire were falling on me and sticking and burning me. Around me, there was a great wailing and crying of many people.

 

When the fire got stronger I could see everything around me. The souls had a terrible appearance, they were crippled with stretched necks and swollen eyes. They told me that you are a comrade (it seems that they were communists) and you are obliged to live with us. Like you, we too when we were on earth did not recognize God, we cursed him and did every evil, fornication, pride, and others and we never repented. Those who sinned but repented went to church, prayed to God, showed mercy to the poor, and helped those in need and misfortune, they are up there. (Note: that is, in heaven, which they here did not even want to mention).

 

I was terribly frightened by these words, it seemed to me that I was already here in Hades my whole life and they tell me that I will live with them forever.

 

After that, the Mother of God appeared again and there was light, the demons fled and the souls tormented in hell began to cry out and beg her for mercy: "Heavenly Queen, do not leave us here" they cried. "We are burning Mother of God and there is not even a drop of water"! She was crying and through the crying, she was saying: "While you lived on earth you did not recognize me and did not repent of your sins to My Son and your God and I cannot help you now, I only help those for whom the relatives beg and for whom the holy church prays for". After that we started to rise and from below there was a loud cry of voices: "Mother of God don't leave us".

 

Again there was darkness and I found myself in the same place. Crossing her hands on her chest, the Mother of God raised her eyes to heaven and began to pray saying: "What shall I do with her, where shall I put her? A voice answered: "Leave her by the hair on the earth." "But is she cut ?". The voice said again, "Grab her by the hair." Then the Mother of God quietly left, her door half open so that behind her I could see nothing. Then she came back holding my hair in her hands and out of nowhere 12 wheelless carriages appeared, they were moving slowly and I was following them. The Mother of God gave me the hair, but I did not realize that she touched me. I only listened when he said the twelfth carriage has no bottom. I was afraid to sit on it, but the Mother of God pushed me to the ground from it.

 

After that, I came to my senses and consciously stood and watched. It was half past one in the afternoon. After that light, I saw there everything on earth looked bad to me and I didn't like being on Earth but what to do. Now I said to my soul alone: "Go to the body"! Then I was back at the hospital and we went to the refrigerator where the bodies were kept. This was closed, but I entered without hindrance and saw my dead body: My head was turned a little to one side, while my waist was pressed by dead men. As soon as my soul entered the body, I immediately felt a strong chill. Somehow I freed my tight waist, bent over, and clasped my knees with my hands. At that moment they put in the dead body of some man and when they turned on the light they saw me bent over, whereas they usually put all the dead face up. Seeing me like this the nurses were afraid and from fear they scattered. They returned with two doctors, who immediately ordered my brain to be heated with lamps. There were eight incisions on my body (they learned about it): three on the chest and the rest on the abdomen. Two hours after warming the head I opened my eyes and only after 12 days I spoke.

 

In the morning they brought me pancakes with butter and coffee for breakfast (it was a fasting day), but I didn't want to eat and told them I wouldn't eat. The nurses left again and everyone in the hospital started paying attention to me. The doctors came and asked me why I don't want to eat. I answered them: "Sit down and I will tell you what my soul has seen. Whoever does not fast on the days of fasting, will eat foul and disgusting things. That's why today I won't eat, just like in all the fasts I won't gain weight". The doctors the surprise, one turned red and the other turned yellow and the patients listened to me carefully. Then many doctors gathered and I told them that nothing hurts me anymore. Then people began to come to me, a lot of them, and I told everyone and showed them the wounds. The police started to chase people away and I was taken to another hospital. There I recovered completely and begged the doctors to heal me as soon as possible of the incisions they made on me while learning about me. Then they put me back on the operating table and when the doctors opened my abdomen they said: "Why did they operate on a perfectly healthy person?". I then asked them: "What is my illness? " They answered: "Your entrails are healthy and clean like a child's." I told them that I was blindfolded during the operation, but that I could still see my insides in the ceiling mirror. The doctors who performed the operation also came and when they approached they said: “Where is her illness? Her entrails were all disintegrated and affected by the cancer, and now she is perfectly healthy." I answered them: the LORD GOD has shown his mercy to me a sinner, that I may even live and testify to others what I saw and what happened to me. HE, the LORD GOD took what was broken in me and gave me healthily, I will tell everyone about it, until I die. Then I said to the doctor: "See how you laughed? " and he replied that "nothing was sound in you." "What do you think now ?" I asked him. He answered: "The ALMIGHTY has reborn you !" Then I answered him: "If you believe in him, make your cross and get married in the church." The doctor blushed because he was a Jew. I also added: be pleasing to the Lord GOD.

 

I then left the hospital, called the priest I was playing with earlier, and attacked him, calling him a scumbag. I told him everything that happened to me, I confessed and received the holy mysteries of Christ. I called him and he blessed my house, because until now sin, pettiness, drunkenness, taunting, and fighting reigned in it.

 

Now I, the sinful CLAUDIA, who am 40 years old, with the help of God and the Heavenly Queen, live a Christian life. I regularly go to the church, the temple of God and the Lord helps me. People visit me from all parts of the world and I tell everyone what happened to me, what I saw, and what I heard. With God's help, I accept them all, I tell everyone what I was before, what happened to me now, and why I am now a believer.

 

 

May the Lord God be glorified! I advise all of them to be careful how they live because indeed there is another world and another life and each one will give an account for his earthly works and that according to them he will have a fully just reward or punishment and even eternal. May you all live Christianly and according to GOD. AMEN.

 

Ustyuzhina Klavdiya Nikitishna.